Chasing Shadows (Episode 4)

She literally crept up on him. The lights were out, except for the light from the TV that reflected in the room. He was engrossed in the match that he didn’t notice when she walked into the sitting room, and sat in the single chair just adjacent him.

“I don’t mean to be unnecessarily inquisitive or anything, but what really happened to Shola? I don’t just want to assume… And your dad?” She said softly but loud enough to catch his attention.

“Sade. You startled me.” He sat up from the long chair he was lying on.

“I didn’t even realize you were here.” He began reducing the volume of the TV.

“I’m sorry. I’ve not just been myself since you told me about…” She let her words fade into thin air.

“Can’t sleep?” He changed the topic.

“Yes. But I’ll sleep soon though. I just really want to know these things. Siju rarely talks about you guys, you know? It’s just your mum and cousins he mentions. I’ve met mum and she’s really sweet. The way he reacts when I try to find out more… it’s … I don’t know how to put it.” She went on.

Supo smiled. The light from the TV made the smile obvious. Sade saw the resemblance for the first time. They were actually brothers. He wasn’t fabricating any story. But the way he smiled sent a different message to her. Something was definitely fishy. She knew he didn’t want to talk about their father; the same way Siju never talked about him. The only thing she knew about him was that he was no more. That was the way Siju answered her questions about his dad – ‘he was no more’. But after all that Supo had told her, she was beginning to doubt whatever ‘no more’ meant.

“Was he trapped in the fire?” She cut into the awkward silence that was beginning to build up.

Supo took the remote control from the table where he placed it and began to increase the volume of the TV again.

“What is it about your dad, you both can’t talk about?”

Sade was getting uncomfortable. She stood up from her seat, walked towards Supo, took the remote from where it was placed beside him and turned down the volume of the TV.

“Answer me!” she demanded quietly.

“If he didn’t tell you about it, about all these…” He spread his palms to describe all that he had told her earlier.

“… then I can’t” Supo answered firmly, but quietly too. He couldn’t afford to have Siju wake up to find them having a discussion about their father.

“I don’t get it. I just don’t.” Sade bent her head, then began running her fingers through her hair in search of answers.

“See…” Supo moved closer to her.

“I can’t talk about it. I feel bad that I already told you some things. But you have to promise me that you won’t say a word to Siju. In actual fact, this conversation never happened” He placed his hands on her shoulder.

They were warm, and reassuring. She wasn’t love-starved, she didn’t need her shoulders rubbed, or some soft words spoken to her. But she didn’t react to the closeness, nor to the way he was beginning to rub her shoulders gently just to pass a message across. She just sat still, confused, lost in thought, and totally oblivious of his presence.

“What conversation never happened?” Siju’s voice cut into her thoughts.

“What is going on here?”

Siju walked closer to the duo. He had not been standing for a long time. He only came out to ease himself and he heard voices; voices not from the TV. He walked closer to the sitting room, pulled the light curtain that divided the sitting room from the corridor that led to the conveniences and the two bedroom.

“Hey…” Supo said as he got up from the chair and began making his way towards his brother.

“I asked a question” He was more audible and stern.

Sade lifted her head, opened her mouth, and attempted to say something, but words failed her.

“Sade…” Siju hit the arm of the chair with his palm.

“What conversation never happened?” he asked again.

Supo moved closer to his brother, and began placing his left palm on his shoulder.

“It’s nothing” he said calmly.

“Just go back to bed. I was just on my way to the room myself”

Siju brushed his brother’s palm off his shoulder.

“Don’t… don’t even start” He raised his right hand and replied angrily.

Sade finally found her voice. She stood up from the seat, dropped the TV remote on the chair, and started in her usual calm way.

“Nothing is going on here. And the conversation isn’t relevant. I’m going to bed”

She walked past the two brothers, in awe of her own words, and hissed in her mind. She couldn’t believe what she just did. She was very proud of herself and the way she stood up to Siju. But she was disturbed, very disturbed.

The guys just stood there, and watched her leave.

Supo knew better than to go into the room with his brother. He returned to the sofa where he was previously lying and turned up the volume of the TV.

***

“Mum, I’m coming over. I need your help.” Sade woke up as early as 4.00 am the next day and dialed her mother’s number.

“Sade… is not too early?” Her mother said amidst yawns, but still in her clean queens English.

“Mummy. Are you fully awake now?” Sade waited for her mum to do whatever it was she needed to do to be awake, and listen carefully to what she had to say.

“I’m awake. What’s the matter? I’m listening.”

“I need to come see you today. Something big has happened.” Sade went on.

“Please don’t start with your exaggerations. Besides, you know you can’t come here.” Her mother spoke more clearly.

Sade sighed, and listened to her mother dictate the location to meet up.

“Okay mum.” She hung up, and heaved a big sigh.

She got up from the bed and began packing a few things into a big handbag. She didn’t know how long she would be gone for but she knew she needed some air, she needed answers, and she wasn’t going to get any here.

She was trying so hard to start all over, to right her wrongs, and make something out of her life. She was the happiest girl some six months ago, when Siju asked her to marry him. Finally, the light at the end of the tunnel; marriage to the only man that ever believed in her and made her feel good about herself – she had thought to herself. It had been from one dark phase to another for the past two years, after the mistake she made that cost her and her entire family her brother’s life.

She was the wild one, the black sheep of the family, the irresponsible big sister that only understood the words ‘party’ and ‘booze’. She laughed hysterically anytime her father dished out angry words in a bid to set her straight and back on the right path. Her parents couldn’t understand why she had turned out that way. The only consolation they had was the good grades she brought back home all through her years of schooling. They still couldn’t understand how the grades came about, but they were thankful for the one positive thing that came out of their daughter.

She jokingly told her mum that she was probably the thorn God put in their flesh to make sure they continually depended on Him. That was the only sermon she heard that ever stuck. She had no worries about what the future held for her; after all, her parents had done the bulk of the work for her and her brother. They had built the empire on which she now lived and would later inherit. She didn’t need to search for a job or hustle for anything like everyone else. Her entire future was already taken care of.

She wiped the tear that was beginning to form in her eyes before they could make their way down her cheeks.

She wished for a lot of things, but most especially, that she could go back in time, to be that good child that her parents deserved, and prayed day and night for.

***

She had woken up in the hospital with a bandage on her head, and a needle on the back of her palm connecting her to a drip.

She tried to open her eyes, but the light in the room repelled them. The brightness was more than her eyes and brain could process. The pain in her head was unbearable. She wanted to scream, but she couldn’t find the strength to do so. After much effort, she eventually opened her eyes to see her mother seated by her side, sniffing and wiping her face with a handkerchief. Her father stood with a straight face and watched her struggle with the pain.

Not much was said all through her stay at the hospital and even after she was discharged. She recovered quickly from the fatal accident involving herself and her brother.

Her mother had told her to leave home as soon as she could. She had made arrangements for her to stay with her sister in Ibadan. Her father would not have her around him, he might do something nasty, she had said. She had transferred some hundreds of thousands into her daughter’s account instantly, after which she sent her on her way.

Sade had questions to ask her mum but she knew she wouldn’t get any answers. The driver had driven her to the garage that early Saturday morning barely a week after she was discharged from the hospital. Her mum could not even go with her. She had cried uncontrollably but there was nothing she could do to change the situation.

She had driven under the influence of alcohol and got her kid brother killed. It was never her intention to kill her only sibling. She had only done what she usually did to celebrate his big day every year – take him to the newest fun place in town to celebrate with his friends.

Her father had not said a word to her ever since the incidence. She had called severally and sent tons of messages to him, apologizing for the pain and agony she caused. Her mother was the only link she had with her family, and even though she tried to be there for her daughter, she couldn’t do much.

“He still needs time. You can’t come home now” Her mother always said.

Her mother was however delighted when Sade told her about her new business in Ibadan, and about Siju. She screamed for joy when she learnt about her engagement, and Sade thought the news would finally reconcile her with her dad, but the situation remained same.

She needed some light in her life, and not some dark secret revolving around her husband-to-be; the only person she considered the light at the end of her tunnel.

She needed her mum that very moment.

She eventually let the tears fall as she zipped the already packed bag.

***CHASING SHADOWS by Faith Tunde-Yara

***Photo credit:  madamenoire.com