A thrill of many "firsts" | Blog-not-Mas III

Let's start this episode with this lovely picture of me

I couldn't conclude the "LASTMA made me cry" story from the last episode due to my promise of "1000 words or less per episode". So let's pick up today's Blog-not-Mas from there.

Missed the first part of the story? Read it here.

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As I drove out from behind the car in front of me, I drove into the hands of a LASTMA official who directed me to an open space to park properly. She called her assistant to enter my car right away so I don't drive off, I guess 😅.

Naïve me was still confused. So I asked the junior LASTMA officer sitting in the car with me to explain what I did wrong. It was then she said I shouldn't have swerved out like that; it was government Road and cameras are everywhere blah blah blah.

I calmly replied that I didn't know where I was going (thankfully, Google Maps was still on my phone screen), pointing the Maps interface to her to prove I wasn't lying. I explained that it was my first time driving on that road and I didn't know there was a rule against swerving out before getting to a barricade to keep to my actual lane. In fact, I thought driving straight on the left lane instead of following the diversion would be the offense, and I'd have been penalised for that.

The officer was very patient and even explained the route I should take to where I said I was going. I was still calm, because in my mind this woman is so understanding, thank goodness. Just as she was wrapping up her calm explanations and directions, the Senior staff that flagged me down came and knocked on the window, then turned to the other side of the car where her subordinate was.

"What is going on here? What are you waiting for? Take her to the station now (in Nigerian English) àbí kí lò n dúró dè? (or what is the hold-up about?)" She opened the door with aggression and listened impatiently to her subordinate's explanation. She then kissed her teeth before telling me my explanation was invalid and I'd have to go to their station at Ogba for a ticket.

I came down from the car and begged her, telling her I was a lawyer (I was dressed in a Black dress, so that helped or so I thought) and that I would never flout traffic rules if I knew them. She then retorted that "ignorance was no excuse in law", and that was when I felt bad for pulling the lawyer card.😅

My outfit for the day before the LASTMA drama unfolded

We went on and on for about 10-12 minutes, with me pleading, and the LASTMA staff not bulging. I continued begging, pulling the first-day-of-the-month-I-don't-want-wahala-card😓😂. I don't even stay around and only came for a job, I continued. She agreed that I shouldn't start my month with drama, so I should just find them something, which she didn't say in many words. I honestly don't know how to bribe anyone, I'll rather serve the punishment for my wrongdoing. So when she stylishly asked for something, my stress levels skyrocketed for two reasons - the first being that I didn't have cash on me (another bad habit, as I don't move around with cash most times) and secondly, because I'd have to bribe her.

In that moment, I just let the tears that have welled up in my eyes for a while flow down. It was so weird because I was trying to plead with this woman, and I genuinely thought she would be kind enough to let a fellow member of her gender go.😂 (Again, I don't pull these women-supporting-women cards, but I really wanted her to take the disposition of her subordinate who was ready to let me go).

With a shocked face, she asked "why are you crying? Stop crying now, this matter is simple, we either go to the station where you can explain yourself and probably get your car impounded till you pay 100k or we settle the matter here..."

When I get unsettled about saying my truth, I cry. I've been like that for years and I thought I had outgrown it till this happened. I called Hubs who spoke to the officer and offered some type of settlement, stating that they should let me go as a first offender. Hay God.🙆🏽‍♀️ Me, first offender. To cut the long story short, the mean officer started praising my husband for being mature and reasonable. I withdrew the cash, gave it to the POS guy (because obviously she didn't want the cameras seeing her collect a bribe), and that was when the nice side of this officer came to the party. She started asking if I could drive in that state, attempted to give me directions, told me to wipe my tears, asked to speak to my husband to tell him to calm me down, and so many unnecessary nice gestures.

I drove straight home from there in silence, while beating myself for everything, especially the fact that I made Hubs lose money on the first of December and also because I cried - for what?!

I bet I'm not the only cry-baby in the house. Let me know if unsettling situations make you cry and what you've been doing to overcome this emotional brouhaha.

With my client at the end of his fittings

A happy stylist

Thankfully, that was the only terrible thing that happened at the start of December. The next day, Hubs drove me through another route for my actual in-person shop and style session for my client so I don't get caught up in another LASTMA drama. 😂

Put me in any men's fashion boutique and you'd have made my day

A view of the store

The rest of the days following that incident came with a thrill of many firsts, starting with me nailing my first event styling  (read the start of that story here), to getting featured in a Channels TV article (Read it here), to me driving with heels for the first time. 😂 I bet you didn't see this last one coming.

But seriously, (ladies especially) do you drive with heels? I always find myself driving faster with shoes on (and it doesn't have to be heels). Without shoes, I'm able to control my speed better and driving just feels so much better that way. Let me know in the comments if you're team drive with shoes or drive barefooted. 

That's where I'd end today's episode. I hope you loved it.

Be nice with your comments on my cry-baby moments and share your LASTMA dramas if any.

Till the next episode, it's 💗 x 💡.

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