I killed a Lizard!

Hello Blog Fam.

I'm so glad I published my last blog (which was originally meant to be a lengthy Instagram caption to start with) because where is November flying to? I've not been able to keep up with this month at all, and I'm trying not to be hard on myself for not managing my time well, because one thing I know for a fact is that I've been utilising every second of every 24 hours of the past 14 days the best way possible. But I'm really glad I published that impromptu blog post, else this would have been such a late new month blog.

Anyway, enough of me and my fast and furious November, and back to today's blog, which is a pretty short story about my newly acquired boldness to kill a lizard. 

Lizards are at the top of my disliked animals. I detest every type of lizard, from wall geckos to the slim green ones to the red-headed ones to the really massive dangerous ones. I can't stand lizards at all but unfortunately, there are a lot of them where I currently live. I blame it on the newness of my area. So many houses are still under construction and Hubs told me they thrive in uncompleted buildings and unplastered walls because of the roughness. 

When we first moved to this area, I used to struggle to go into the house because there was always one lizard or two or three loitering around the veranda and because I detest/dread them, I would stamp my feet, jump around, throw stones, do whatever gymnastics I could do to get them out of the veranda before I went in.

On one fateful day, I was back from dropping my daughter at school and had done the usual gymnastics of chasing them away. Unfortunately for me, one had found its way into the house somehow. There's a tiny space underneath the main door, and I guess that was how the lizard got in. You should have seen me that day. I kept jumping from chair to chair. I locked all the doors that led to the rooms and the kitchen; then called Hubs who was at work to lament about how a lizard was hunting me. He on the other hand, put a call through to our plumber that (thankfully) lived nearby. That was my saving grace that day. The plumber came around, killed the lizard and the world was at peace again. 

Shortly after that incident, we got a carpenter to build a net (made of strings) door just in front of the mini gate (or what do we call those gate-like things we have at our balconies in Nigeria? Somebody help me in the comments.😀) leading to the veranda, and then the main door. But that only worsened the problem, because these lizards now had a rough net-like thing to cling to. So the lizard problem is still a problem and I've been finding my way around the situation by holding a broom anytime I'm stepping out just in case I need to dust off one lizard from the net.😀 Occasionally, some small ones find their way into the veranda but they kind of know when play time is over and they need to get out.

This morning however, I was done prepping my daughter for school and it was time to actually go out the door, only for my daughter to shout because she sighted a small greenish-brown lizard on the veranda. Because I had taught her to say "shush" to any insect or fly she saw, she kept shushing this lizard but it didn't move. I joined in the shush exercise and this lizard moved slowly out of the way but to another side of the veranda. Initially I decided that we should go through the backdoor so I could get my daughter to school early, but immediately changed my mind for no apparent reason other than the fact that I suddenly felt insulted by the small lizard stressing me at 7:35am. 😂 So I went to the kitchen, grabbed a broom and went back to the veranda to continue my shushing with actionable steps, which was smacking the surroundings so that the lizard could truly get out of the way and out of the veranda. 

But this stubborn lizard only moved to the extreme end of the veranda, and because time was not on my side, I carried my daughter and left the lizard to think about its attitude because I expected it to have found its way out by the time I returned from school runs.

Lo and behold, I came back and met this lizard at the main door leading to the house, trying to enter the house. 🙆 I was livid, upset, stressed and worried at the same time. Yes, you can feel all these emotions at once, I learnt that today. 😂 I was livid that the lizard had the effrontery to not just remain at the veranda but to decide that its next step was to enter the house; the guts! I was upset that I didn't spare another 2 minutes to chase it out properly before leaving the house; stressed that any silly gymnastic move could go wrong and the lizard could find the tiny space underneath the door and then slip into the house; and very worried that I could actually be standing outside my house for another 10 minutes if I didn't find a way to get the lizard out of the veranda.

To cut the long story (which wasn't supposed to be this long anyway, but I like painting scenarios properly so you can get the picture clearly😅) short, I summoned courage to get one of the shoes at the veranda, threw it at the lizard to get it away from the door, then found my way inside the house to get a broom to chase it away. And here is where everything escalated from 0 to 100.

Imagine me chasing this lizard and it's refusing to move, even though it was still alive. Now my patience was waning because I had a strict schedule and a zillion things on my to-do list for the day, but one silly lizard decided to waste my precious time. Next thing I know, I'm speaking in tongues (I always do this anytime I don't know what else to do😀) and hitting the lizard with a broom, and my heart is racing fast and it's all like a movie, and annoyingly this lizard is refusing to die.

But guess what, your girl is not stopping with the broom smacking. And viola I killed the lizard! Then tossed its stubborn lifeless body on the packer and threw it in a safe place for its family members to find and bury.😂 And it should have felt good, right? I should have had that "I came, saw and conquered" moment, right? But I was still shaking for another two minutes.

Once I had calmed down, I started my day fully with the main prayers, which I had somehow started while hitting the lizard with a broom, because all of a sudden the lizard just represented something that had been making me super anxious and restless for a few days. So it was with that energy I went into my real prayer time and I kept speaking to the situation(s) making me anxious, yelling at the top of my voice that I had had enough!

Everything happened super fast but I capitalised on the emotions from killing that lizard to speak life into the atmosphere, and cast out anxiety. When I was done praying and was actually very calm, I reflected on the lizard situation and I had doubts about sharing what lesson I learnt for fear of being judged as reading unnecessary meaning to a situation or forcing deep thoughts into a random scenario. But because this is no longer that Faith that is controlled by imposter syndrome, I have come to share, because I know one person needs to hear/read this to be liberated.

Here's the result/lessons from my reflection:

I summed up the emotions running through my head as I killed that lizard into this:

"I had had enough!"

And it made sense because I realised that as I smacked that broom and the lizard remained adamant, there was a power tussle. Interpret this as any situation in your life that has crippled you without you even realising it. You're constantly anxious, stressed, afraid of making the next move because there is something standing in your way; there's a limitation of some sort, either one that is self-imposed or imposed by external factors; you feel stuck and you sometimes can't pinpoint what it is but once you do, you're unable to get the obstacle out of the way because it's been there for so long and you don't think you can actually get rid of it. Note that these obstacles may even be relationships, not just things.

I honestly didn't think I had it in me to kill a lizard. I have never done it before. I can't kill any animal bigger than a cockroach. I run at the sight of any creeping thing, trust me.😀 So when I saw that lizard standing at the door, a part of me wanted to call Hubs to ask him to call someone around to help me out; another part of me blamed myself for not passing the backdoor because I wasn't sure when I would be able to get into my house through the front door. But another part of me looked at the lizard and was genuinely upset that this creature that could not bite me was stressing me out and wasting my time on a Monday morning. And that birthed the series of emotions I expressed above that eventually motivated me to summon the courage to not just chase the lizard, but kill it when it failed to agree to my terms of chasing and retaining its life. 😅 

While I thought the victory was in killing the lizard, the real victory was in the strength and courage I received to address the thoughts fueling anxiety and fear in my head and mind for some days. Without voicing it out, these feelings had crippled my productivity and affected my mood and I had just been managing it; praying silent prayers and hoping for the best. After the lizard episode, I suddenly found the strength to SPEAK UP and PRAY LOUD and literally shape my atmosphere and entire week with the word of God.

Many times we're hoping for the best, and not taking charge. I don't need to go into details of what this means. I just want you to know that if this post is for you, this is your sign to use your authority in Christ to take charge of that long-standing situation that has crippled you for so long and made you stagnant. 

I found myself chanting "For God has not given me the spirit of fear, but of Love, Power and of a Sound Mind [2Tim 1:7]" as I killed the lizard; and this formed a larger percentage of my confession while praying. And honestly, that's the magic scripture I'm taking with me into the rest of the week.

You may or may not need to get to the point when you've had enough before you take charge. It really depends on you. But one thing I know for sure is that a child of God decrees and it is established. That situation is not bigger than you; you just haven't summoned the courage to face it and bring it under your authority.

You've got what it takes to Decree and the best part is, it will be established.

I can tell you for sure that I feel super courageous now to face whatever hidden thoughts of fear and anxiety that may raise their ugly heads as I go through this 11th month and I want nothing more for you to be as courageous also. Hence, this post.

This is where I'll be drawing the curtains for today's post. I hope it blessed you in some way.

Till the next post, stay courageous!

💛 x 💡